Why Me?

Why me? Do I ever contemplate the eternal question  of someone who has been dealt a bad hand in life such as Parkinson's Disease? I can honestly say it has never entered my mind. Let me explain the version of "why me" that never entered my mind; the self pity woe is me version of that question. I could waste a lot of mental energy on why me.  Maybe if I fell to my knees in the pouring rain, hands extended to the heavens yelling whyyyyyy to God as lightening flashed all around like the priest in Caddy Shack when the putt set on the lip of the cup and did not go in to set the club record. Did it help? Nope. Life is full of the why me's. Most of the time when I hear it, you don't even have to ask why because you know it was something you did or didn't do or it was just out of your control. It does not matter if you thought the end result was just or not. It is what it is. Do you know why I have PD? I don't either, neither does my neurologist. It would be wrong for me to ask why me. That would mean I did not deserve my current situation, but everyone else did.  I am sure there were people on the Titanic who asked the question, why did we hit an iceberg?  It does not matter. It does not affect the current situation that the ship is sinking. Although you could ask, why is the band still playing? I would be duct taping a couple of cellos together and getting off that ship ASAP.  Did they invent duct tape yet? If they did, I bet they could have fixed the ship.
"What if", this is another great time waster, but let's play the what if game. What if I ate better when I was younger and worked out more, would I have PD? What if one of my parents carried a PD gene? What if no one knows, but through genetic marker studies we are getting closer to that answer? What if it was something in the environment?  This one that keeps me up at night -- what if those poor people did not take that three hour tour? I would imagine they would never been stranded on that island. We can ask, why did Ginger wear that dress? Why did the Howell's not own their own yacht? How come the Skipper never lost any weight? The people on Survivor always do. Why can the professor make a nuclear reactor out of coconuts, but not fix a two foot hole in a boat? Could Mary Ann be any cuter? Not a question, just a personal observation.

See it's a fun game, but we are not meant to apply "what if" to our current real life situations because we can't go back in time. I do admit to playing what if after my sports team loses a game. I am working on that in small steps and that's not a PD pun.

Now here is how I look at "why me".  Why me? Because I can make a difference. I have the ability to help. That's why me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself I choose to take that negative thought and turn it into positive action.

What if? What if I did not have PD?  Would I ever have been involved in trying to help get this disease cured? Probably not.  I have never known anyone with PD. People usually do not take up a cause until it affects a family member or a friend so I look at it as a calling.

I like to ask the questions, how and what? How can I help and what do we need to do?  Everyone has had the opportunity in their life to ask these questions. You have not been singled out in life. Mistakes turn into lessons. Lost loved ones are to be carried in our hearts, not to hold us back. Life will place shut doors in front of all of us. Don't spend time knocking, hoping someone will open it for you. You need to go through, around, over, under, but you must move ahead.

"What if", that's the past. "Why me", you're stuck in neutral. "Life" is what you do when you move forward. Michael J. Fox was asked by an interviewer on TV, "Do you ever think why me?"  His response was "Why not me?"

My blogger friends

What has Parkinson's given me? It is currently an incurable disease, but there are great people working on that. So what gift could I receive or what possible good could come from PD? First, you see the quality of your friends; the support and love they give you in your time of need. It’s very easy to be a friend in good times. It doesn’t take much effort, but when the chips are down and you need help and support, a friendship can be tested. I have been very blessed with the friends I have! Friends and family are part of the many different communities we belong to.

One good thing that has come out of PD is that my community has expanded by an incredible group of bloggers who have chosen to battle this disease through their inspirational writing. I think that most of my fellow Parkie bloggers will tell you that you don't know who is reading your blog. When you first put it up, friends and family are there to support it. Sure that's how we got to be searchable on the web and get it out to the Parkinson's community. There I was feeling like those guys at NASA sending out signals into outer space hoping to get a response back. I have never written anything before so my other fear was that I was going to be like those guys in the fishing boat drinking beer that the aliens always find and decide to contact. Immediately after a conversation with them, Bubba enlightens our alien friends that our world is doing great because of a TV program called Bassmasters. Was I going to be the Bubba of the blogging universe feeling that higher life forms have passed me by? I was so excited when I first received a comment posted by a fellow Parkie on one of my posts. I instantly felt less alone dealing with PD. It was validation.

Since then my PD blogger community has expanded. We find each other through this wonderful social media, brought together by our common challenge. There is intelligent life out there and they are called bloggers; a community of people getting the message out to the PD world that you are not alone and there is hope. We strike out at PD with every stroke of our keyboards. We lift the spirits of someone who suffers, whose hope was rekindled by the words of a blogger they never met. At the same time it makes us feel that even with our PD, we are viable and we will not go quietly into that good night! We can make a difference. What we all do counts!

On my blog are links to bloggers who have so generously taken the time to read my posts and respond to them. Please take the time to read their wonderful blogs. A special thanks to kj who writes 12 Paws and Frogs. She is a very special person who truly shows us what grace is even with PD and a father who is going through his own battle with cancer. kj reflects joy and positivity in her writings. Thank you, kj!

To all my friends who read my blog, I can’t thank you enough!!! Okay, Parkie bloggers, hit those keyboards. There are people who are counting on us!

P.S. - To all the fine people out late at night who are fishing on boats, the next time you make contact with extraterrestrials stop showing them that 8 pounder you caught and using the words "ain't she a beaut". Please tell them to stick around. We sure could use the help....Okay, got to go. Bassmasters is coming on.

I'm Pat Younts and I move to live.